Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
