The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
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