She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I just had sex on a roof
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
