We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
