Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
