Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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