I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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