Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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