dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
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