Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
BRING THE BAGELS
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
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