ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
last night I used snow as a chaser
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
