I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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