accomplished twins. life is a go
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize