Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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