he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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