My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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