Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
