its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize