She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
