its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
