i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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