how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Randomize