apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
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