at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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