I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
