so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Boobs are out for the taking
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize