bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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