I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Porn is love you can see.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
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