these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
