ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
