dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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