She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!