i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
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There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
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Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.