i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
