Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
