My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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