erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
high people should be assigned attendants
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
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