I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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