does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
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Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
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the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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