I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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