i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
