Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
