she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Randomize
