Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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