sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
