Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
