My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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