it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
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