I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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