Whats the glycemic index on semen?
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
