are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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