I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
