they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
