i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.