Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
These 23 People Share the Worst Advice They’ve Been Given
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.