Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
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Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
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By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.