btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I have already put on my inside pants.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
