are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
