somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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