And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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